What the device's user says: "Note eight dollars for lunch."
What Siri hears: "Note ten dollars for lunch wow is that an iphone I've thought about getting one but Apple products are so expensive does it really understand everything you say"
The only known cure is duct tape, applied orally.
I just tried to listen to my cats' heartbeats using a stethoscope. I couldn't hear it; any heart sounds were drowned out by the sound of purring.
Instead, I spent the time petting both my cats at once. Not a bad way to hang out on a Sunday morning.
Of course, the logical conclusion is that since I can't hear their hearts beating, I must have zombie cats. Those of you who've met my cats will realize that this explains a lot.